National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month
http://www.ncjrs.gov/teendatingviolence/index.html
http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/227744.pdf
“Peer and sibling victimization. Six types of victimization, including being attacked by a group of children; being hit or beaten by another child, including a brother or sister; being hit or kicked in the private parts; being chased, grabbed, or forced to do some¬thing; being teased or emotionally bullied; and being a victim of dating violence.”
Monday, February 15, 2010
Not Safe In My Own Backyard
Am I Safe in My Own Backyard?
The need to teach children personal safety.
Robbie Adler-Tapia, Ph.D.
In one day I took referrals from three different frantic parents who had learned that their young child had been sexually assaulted by a classmate, a cousin and even an older sibling. The devastation that these and many families experience is often accentuated with, “I didn’t know!” These are often well-educated and healthy families who didn’t know to teach their child about the risk the child had in their own backyard. I decided that I could no longer stay in my office providing mental health services to children after they had been traumatized, when perhaps a call or an article might help parents learn about this risk to children and most importantly, prevent another child victim. As a psychologist who specializes in working with young children, the frustration that parents and children are not being educated about the risk that children pose to other children compelled me to write this article.
How often do we consider how safe our children are in their own homes, schools, and backyards? We install pool fences, use car seats, and cover electrical outlets. Parents and schools often teach children about stranger danger, drugs and alcohol, and even AIDS. In our schools we even teach children about bullying and give children strategies to get along with other children, but when do we teach children to protect themselves from people and children they know? When do we help children learn about their personal safety from other people and especially from other children? How do we give children skills to protect themselves?
The statistics support my concern that we are missing some of the greatest risks to our children. For example, statistically the likelihood of a child between the ages of birth to twelve years being harmed by someone they don’t know is less than 14%. It is significantly more likely that a child will be molested by a family member or someone known to the child than by a stranger.
Except for victims under age 6, most sexual assault offenders were not family members but were otherwise known to the victim.
Sixty percent of all sexual assault offenders were classified by law enforcement as acquaintances of the victim. Just 14% of offenders
were strangers to their victims. Strangers were a greater proportion of the offenders of adult victims (27%) than juvenile victims (7%).
The youngest juveniles were least likely to have an offender who was a stranger. Just 3% of the offenders in the sexual assaults of
children under age 6 were strangers, compared with 5% of the offenders of youth ages 6 through 12, and 10% of offenders of juveniles
ages 12 through 17. (pp 13) “That is, 40% of the offenders of victims under age 6 were themselves juveniles. A similar proportion (39%)
of offenders of victims ages 6 through 11 were also juveniles. “ (pp. 8)
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/saycrle.pdf
We don’t want children to become anxious or fearful all the time, but rather empowered to act if it ever becomes necessary. So what can you do as a parent or someone who cares about children? Most kids say to me, "I didn't know." Many children don't have the words or the conceptualization to tell about yucky feelings from other kids. But, how many parents or schools teach children how to protect themselves from other children? What can you as a parent do to teach your child how to be aware in order to protect themselves even from people with whom they feel safe?
EDUCATION AND PREVENTION!!!!!!!!
1. Talk to your child about personal safety.
a. BOOKS: Those Are My Private Parts by Diane Hansen. One of my favorite books that I think every child should read over and over.
b. LINKS: http://darkness2light.org/docs/Final7steps.pdf
2. Take classes for you and your child.
a. www.radkids.org radKids Personal Empowerment Safety Education. Have your child take classes on personal safety.
b. www.thejoyfulchild.org/ This is an organization to teach personal safety.
3. Make a plan with your child! AND, practice, practice, practice.
4. Contact local authorities. Many incidents are not reported to local authorities so juvenile perpetrators go undetected. People don’t want to tell because of shame or fear of retribution from the juvenile perpetrator and/or his/her family. If you don’t notify the local authorities, this juvenile perpetrator will not get the help he/she needs and will continue to offend. These juvenile perpetrators need help and need to be prevented from hurting others. Treatment is our best option while also protecting any future victims.
These are just a few recommendations to help you get started in teaching your child personal safety. I’m not suggesting that this is the only way to give your child additional tools or that this will prevent every child from being hurt, but we do need to start somewhere. As a parent it is important to be cautious, but not overprotective.
The need to teach children personal safety.
Robbie Adler-Tapia, Ph.D.
In one day I took referrals from three different frantic parents who had learned that their young child had been sexually assaulted by a classmate, a cousin and even an older sibling. The devastation that these and many families experience is often accentuated with, “I didn’t know!” These are often well-educated and healthy families who didn’t know to teach their child about the risk the child had in their own backyard. I decided that I could no longer stay in my office providing mental health services to children after they had been traumatized, when perhaps a call or an article might help parents learn about this risk to children and most importantly, prevent another child victim. As a psychologist who specializes in working with young children, the frustration that parents and children are not being educated about the risk that children pose to other children compelled me to write this article.
How often do we consider how safe our children are in their own homes, schools, and backyards? We install pool fences, use car seats, and cover electrical outlets. Parents and schools often teach children about stranger danger, drugs and alcohol, and even AIDS. In our schools we even teach children about bullying and give children strategies to get along with other children, but when do we teach children to protect themselves from people and children they know? When do we help children learn about their personal safety from other people and especially from other children? How do we give children skills to protect themselves?
The statistics support my concern that we are missing some of the greatest risks to our children. For example, statistically the likelihood of a child between the ages of birth to twelve years being harmed by someone they don’t know is less than 14%. It is significantly more likely that a child will be molested by a family member or someone known to the child than by a stranger.
Except for victims under age 6, most sexual assault offenders were not family members but were otherwise known to the victim.
Sixty percent of all sexual assault offenders were classified by law enforcement as acquaintances of the victim. Just 14% of offenders
were strangers to their victims. Strangers were a greater proportion of the offenders of adult victims (27%) than juvenile victims (7%).
The youngest juveniles were least likely to have an offender who was a stranger. Just 3% of the offenders in the sexual assaults of
children under age 6 were strangers, compared with 5% of the offenders of youth ages 6 through 12, and 10% of offenders of juveniles
ages 12 through 17. (pp 13) “That is, 40% of the offenders of victims under age 6 were themselves juveniles. A similar proportion (39%)
of offenders of victims ages 6 through 11 were also juveniles. “ (pp. 8)
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/saycrle.pdf
We don’t want children to become anxious or fearful all the time, but rather empowered to act if it ever becomes necessary. So what can you do as a parent or someone who cares about children? Most kids say to me, "I didn't know." Many children don't have the words or the conceptualization to tell about yucky feelings from other kids. But, how many parents or schools teach children how to protect themselves from other children? What can you as a parent do to teach your child how to be aware in order to protect themselves even from people with whom they feel safe?
EDUCATION AND PREVENTION!!!!!!!!
1. Talk to your child about personal safety.
a. BOOKS: Those Are My Private Parts by Diane Hansen. One of my favorite books that I think every child should read over and over.
b. LINKS: http://darkness2light.org/docs/Final7steps.pdf
2. Take classes for you and your child.
a. www.radkids.org radKids Personal Empowerment Safety Education. Have your child take classes on personal safety.
b. www.thejoyfulchild.org/ This is an organization to teach personal safety.
3. Make a plan with your child! AND, practice, practice, practice.
4. Contact local authorities. Many incidents are not reported to local authorities so juvenile perpetrators go undetected. People don’t want to tell because of shame or fear of retribution from the juvenile perpetrator and/or his/her family. If you don’t notify the local authorities, this juvenile perpetrator will not get the help he/she needs and will continue to offend. These juvenile perpetrators need help and need to be prevented from hurting others. Treatment is our best option while also protecting any future victims.
These are just a few recommendations to help you get started in teaching your child personal safety. I’m not suggesting that this is the only way to give your child additional tools or that this will prevent every child from being hurt, but we do need to start somewhere. As a parent it is important to be cautious, but not overprotective.
Upcoming Workshop
TREATMENT OF ATTACHMENT TRAUMA AND
THE DISSOCIATIVE
SEQUELAE THROUGH THE LIFE SPAN:
EMDR AND CASE CONCEPTUALIZATION
Presented by
Robbie Adler-Tapia, Ph.D.
Psychologist,
THE DISSOCIATIVE
SEQUELAE THROUGH THE LIFE SPAN:
EMDR AND CASE CONCEPTUALIZATION
Presented by
Robbie Adler-Tapia, Ph.D.
Psychologist,
EMDR Institute Facilitator,
EMDRIA Approved Consultant
EMDR-HAP Trainer
Co-Author: EMDR and the Art of Psychotherapy With Children
Co-Sponsored by
The EMDR Institute and Windermere Counseling
March 12 & 13 2010
4851 S. Apopka Vineland Rd
Orlando, Fl 32819
EMDR-HAP Trainer
Co-Author: EMDR and the Art of Psychotherapy With Children
Co-Sponsored by
The EMDR Institute and Windermere Counseling
March 12 & 13 2010
4851 S. Apopka Vineland Rd
Orlando, Fl 32819
To Register Contact: Reg Morrow reg@cfl.rr.com
WORKSHOP
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Interviews
Recently I was interviewed by a local magazine writer who was writing about getting children to do chores. As always, I suggest that parents/caregivers use positive reinforcement and logical consequences to guide children into making good choices and growing up to be kind and loving human beings. I believe that theory supports that children are born with a temperament and develop personalities based on interactions with caregivers and the environment. If you are cared for with love and given healthy guidance to make good decisions, children gave confidence and empathy. I encourage parents to teach children to make good choices and exhibit healthy behaviors by "catch them being good." Most parents will intervene when children are misbehaving; however, I suggest that you try to ignore poor choices (unless there is a safety issue) and instead to focus on when children are behaving and making good choices. For example, how about rewarding random acts of kindness? When have you ever rewarded your child for being nice to a sibling or another child? Making a big deal about what behaviors and words you want repeated will decrease the need for discipline and consequences, but that takes work on the part of parents. So back to the interview with the magazine writer. As I was trying to explain this concept, I typically use the example of slot machines. The way that casino owners get a high rate of responding to slot machines is by making it random when a person will hit a winning spin on the slot machine. That's called a variable rate of reinforcement. The person playing the slot machine never knows when they are going to hit a pay off AND watching all the people around them randomly hit payoffs also encourages them to keep putting money in the slot machine. How does this apply to rewarding children? Well, if you randomly reward your child for behaviors you want repeated then children are more likely to repeat those positive behaviors. If I congratulate and hug you and sometimes even give you a special reward for being nice to your sister, you might want to be nice to your sister more often. That's a variable, unpredictable reinforcement for doing something healthy. This works great for kids and is easy as a parent. Remember to hug and congratulate and cheer for your child when they do something that is healthy and appropriate and your child will be more likely to repeat that behavior in the future. So, the magazine writer missed a great deal of the explanation and basically wrote that I said that "children are like slot machines. The more you put in the more you get out." Well at least the last sentence is true. The more we invest in our children, the more our children will grow up to be healthy, wonderful people.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
A Friend
A friend is one who knows you as you are,
understands where you have been,
accepts what you have become,
and still allows you to grow.
-William Shakespeare
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Workshops by Dr. Robbie
This post is to give the reader some information on the workshops I present. Since I am trained in child development and attachment, I especially love this first presentation. I hope to have chapters on this topic in a new book. I have presented workshops in attachment, infant-toddler mental health, EMDR in psychotherapy with children, and our research on EMDR with children that resulted in the reduction in depressive symptoms in traumatized children. For a list of workshops I have presented, please check out my curriculum vitae (CV).
WORKSHOPS:
Treatment of Attachment Trauma and the Dissociative Sequelae
in Clients of All Ages:
EMDR and Case Conceptualization
Presented by
Robbie Adler-Tapia, Ph.D.
When earliest relationships are traumatic, attachment injuries can significantly change the trajectory of one’s life. Bonding and attachment are neurobiologically driven survival mechanisms; but when irreconcilable conflict exists within these innate mechanisms, individuals can experience extreme distress leading to mental health disorders and physical disease. Although these conditions may begin in infancy, if untreated the aftereffects can endure for a lifetime. It is essential that attachment disruptions be addressed in both children and adults experiencing complex trauma reactions, including Axis II conditions and dissociation. EMDR provides a comprehensive, integrative, and effective approach to the treatment of attachment and dissociation.
EMDR and Case Conceptualization
Presented by
Robbie Adler-Tapia, Ph.D.
When earliest relationships are traumatic, attachment injuries can significantly change the trajectory of one’s life. Bonding and attachment are neurobiologically driven survival mechanisms; but when irreconcilable conflict exists within these innate mechanisms, individuals can experience extreme distress leading to mental health disorders and physical disease. Although these conditions may begin in infancy, if untreated the aftereffects can endure for a lifetime. It is essential that attachment disruptions be addressed in both children and adults experiencing complex trauma reactions, including Axis II conditions and dissociation. EMDR provides a comprehensive, integrative, and effective approach to the treatment of attachment and dissociation.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
EMDR HAP and the HAPKIDS Project
EMDR HAP or the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Program is "an international non-profit EMDR-Humanitarian Assistance Programs (HAP), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization is the mental health equivalent of Doctors Without Borders: a global network of clinicians who travel anywhere there is a need to stop suffering and prevent the after-effects of trauma and violence." Volunteers for EMDR HAP travel the world providing training, treatment and consultation for communities who have experienced trauma and violence. After responding to the earthquakes in San Francisco and the terrorist bombing in Oklahoma City, EMDR HAP has responded to international disasters including, Hurricane Katrina in the Gulf Coast Region of the United States, the Tsunami in South Asia; the terrorist attacks that occurred on 9/11 in the United States; the killing of students in a high school in Columbine, Colorado; the floods in Central and South America; a school of students who witnessed a plane crash into the building next to their school in Milan Italy; and, to regions of the world with on-going trauma including Palestne and Israel. These are but a few of the events to which EMDR HAP volunteers have responded. To learn more about EMDR HAP and EMDR HAPKIDS please explore the EMDR HAP website at http://www.emdrhap.org/.
What is EMDR HAPKIDS? EMDR HAPKIDS is a fledgling part of EMDR HAP that focuses on bringing together professionals who focus on working with children. In addition to the EMDR HAP trainings, HAPKIDS' goal is to focus on offering training, treatment, consultation and services to communities where the most vulnerable children need support and mental health professionals need specialized training in working with children. Many amazing child specialists have traveled the world volunteering for EMDR HAP and many more amazing individuals are working in the trenches to help children. As I have volunteered for EMDR HAP, I have had the honor of meeting these individuals who are helping children.
Dr. Bob Tinker and Dr. Sandra Wilson have worked in a refugee camp near Hemar, Germany with ethnic Albanians from Kosovo providing training and mental health services.
Reyhana Seedat from South Africa has provided many services for EMDR HAP including a recent trip to providing EMDR training and treatment in Gaza.
Mona Zaghrout-Hodali and Ferdoos Alissa are providing services at the East Jerusalem YMCA in Beit Sahour, Palestine where they offer training, supervision, and treatment to children.
In 1999, after 2 earthquakes killed some 25,000 people and displaced 750,000 Dr. Jim Knipe, EMDR HAP Project Coordinator for Turkey, lead a team of volunteers to Turkey in collaboration with the Turkish Psychological Association to provide mental health services to victims.
Janet Wright, Peggy Moore, Jim Knipe and many others have traveled repeatedly to the Middle East to provide specialty child EMDR services and training in collaboration with local mental health professionals.
Dr. Nacho Jarero, Dr. Lucinda Artigas along with a group of EMDR professionals have responded for over 10 years to the disaster needs of communities in Central & South America. During this time they created an "EMDR Butterfly Hug or Group Protocol" to work with groups of victims and especially with children.
Dr. Isabel Fernandez and her team responded to the needs of a school of children in Milan, Italy after a plane crashed into the building next to the school.
These dedicated professional volunteers are representative of the international community of individuals working to stop pain and suffering especially with children.
For more information:
http://www.emdrhap.org/ The EMDR HAP website
http://www.emdria.com/ The EMDR International Association website with links to other international EMDR organizations
http://www.emdr.com/ The EMDR Institute website
http://www.emdr-europe.org/ The EMDR Europe website
What is EMDR HAPKIDS? EMDR HAPKIDS is a fledgling part of EMDR HAP that focuses on bringing together professionals who focus on working with children. In addition to the EMDR HAP trainings, HAPKIDS' goal is to focus on offering training, treatment, consultation and services to communities where the most vulnerable children need support and mental health professionals need specialized training in working with children. Many amazing child specialists have traveled the world volunteering for EMDR HAP and many more amazing individuals are working in the trenches to help children. As I have volunteered for EMDR HAP, I have had the honor of meeting these individuals who are helping children.
Dr. Bob Tinker and Dr. Sandra Wilson have worked in a refugee camp near Hemar, Germany with ethnic Albanians from Kosovo providing training and mental health services.
Reyhana Seedat from South Africa has provided many services for EMDR HAP including a recent trip to providing EMDR training and treatment in Gaza.
Mona Zaghrout-Hodali and Ferdoos Alissa are providing services at the East Jerusalem YMCA in Beit Sahour, Palestine where they offer training, supervision, and treatment to children.
In 1999, after 2 earthquakes killed some 25,000 people and displaced 750,000 Dr. Jim Knipe, EMDR HAP Project Coordinator for Turkey, lead a team of volunteers to Turkey in collaboration with the Turkish Psychological Association to provide mental health services to victims.
Janet Wright, Peggy Moore, Jim Knipe and many others have traveled repeatedly to the Middle East to provide specialty child EMDR services and training in collaboration with local mental health professionals.
Dr. Nacho Jarero, Dr. Lucinda Artigas along with a group of EMDR professionals have responded for over 10 years to the disaster needs of communities in Central & South America. During this time they created an "EMDR Butterfly Hug or Group Protocol" to work with groups of victims and especially with children.
Dr. Isabel Fernandez and her team responded to the needs of a school of children in Milan, Italy after a plane crashed into the building next to the school.
These dedicated professional volunteers are representative of the international community of individuals working to stop pain and suffering especially with children.
For more information:
http://www.emdrhap.org/ The EMDR HAP website
http://www.emdria.com/ The EMDR International Association website with links to other international EMDR organizations
http://www.emdr.com/ The EMDR Institute website
http://www.emdr-europe.org/ The EMDR Europe website
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